Updated: Sep 3, 2018
Okay I promised you more and here it comes.
As soon and the guys could pry my door open I got out. I called my husband, no answer. I called my mom, no answer. I had no idea what to do. The person driving the Penski truck was no where in sight. I felt so helpless and alone. I finally decided to call the cops. They said they would send someone. By then Mike the man driving the truck come to see what was going on. He was so kind to me, even though I had ruined his day and possibly got him in big trouble with his work. Another man brought me a cup of water from Taco Bell and several men stopped to see if I was okay. I finally got a hold of my insurance, it took me awhile to gather my thoughts enough to figure out how to call them. The police officer arrived reluctantly and did his duty. He wasn't mean but he wasn't very nice either. He asked me if I had been drinking. A bit funny, because I have never drank alcohol in my life. I informed him, "No I haven't had anything to drink." I finally got a hold of Jay. He was in a meeting. I was still on my own. The officer was done with me and I was instructed to get a ride. I tried one friend, she couldn't at that time come so I arranged for a lyft to come. My driver was very nice to me as well. I, on the other hand was not. My thoughts were racing about all the "what ifs" that could of happened and would of made this situation very worse. I was making myself sick.
I decided that I was not going to cheat this new chance
We were kind of stuck at home for a bit because our car that was now dead under a truck was our only working car. We had a sweet friend let us barrow one of their's and so Jay was able to go to work and get us places. As I said earlier, that first week was awful. I hated everything and everyone. Everyone was trying to support me, but all I heard was, "No". No more food I liked, no more ease, no more doing what I know (which was not a lot), no more joy even. I wan't eating very much and I felt even worst than before. I was so hopeless. I didn't feel like anything I could do would make a difference. But, I was committed so I kept trying. It got to the point though that I started concerning my mom. She had me come to her house for the weekend and we experimented with new recipes and she feed me and got me feeling human again.
I started to get into a grove
I started with very few things:
Sweet potato soup, I'd add spinach, mushrooms, or zucchini noddles and my almond cheese (which is there to just make me feel better because it doesn't have much flavor)
I made a dozen egg cups in my muffin pan. I added about the same stuff to those too.
I also love my fruit cups and the addition of pecans and macadamia nuts. I even made pecan butter. I think it tastes pretty great. A little salty, but great!
A couple weeks into all of this I got my supplements. There are quite a few and some of them are large and or not easy to swallow. I still stay committed. I take them everyday some two or three times a day. I do pills, sprays and drops. I am a supplement taking machine.
I finally got to the point where I was ready to share
It hasn't been easy!
There are some days when I think I want a cookie more than anything else. I have temptation all round me. When I'm upset I think about how the cookie would be nice and then I ask myself, "Do I love myself more than a cookie?" It turns out, that I do trust myself and love myself more than this situation and more than a cookie!